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aswellingstorm · 4 years ago

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taylor swift x catradora playlist

in honor of evermore dropping tonight (midnight, EST) i humbly present the following by album break down of songs that miss swift wrote solely for catradora

taylor swift (2006)

tied together with a smile--the struggle adora faces being the hero/put on a pedestal from her horde days to becoming she ra

invisible--catra facing jealousy over adora’s new friendships

i’m only me when i’m with you--young catradora/growing up in the horde

fearless (2008)

forever & always-- broken promise. need i say more

white horse-- catra’s resentment for adora’s hero complex

breathe-- mutual catra & adora--struggling to cope with the other choosing the opposing side

you’re not sorry--adora coming to terms w post s3 catra & having to accept her former best friend has gone too far this time

change-- post s1 victory for adora

speak now (2010)

the story of us--princess prom catradora vibes

mean--unfortunately.........could see the best friend squad singing this therapeutically & adora thinking of catra

better than revenge-- ‘stealing other peoples toys on the playground won’t make you many friends//i’m just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey’....jealous catra really comes thru here

innocent-- feel like this could be applied to adora but more specifically catra losing herself and her innocence in this war/getting caught in the cycle of abuse shadow weaver set her in at a young age

if this were a movie-- adora’s naïve hope that catra might make the right choice one day

haunted-- ‘all this time you and i have walked a fragile line, never thought i’d live to see it break’, easily fits into adora leaving the horde, but def has the angsty vibes for ‘save the cat’

back to december--regret. longing. wishing u could take something back but knowing you really cant

enchanted--ok hear me out. not necessarily a ‘meet cute’ for them, but could def see this song playing at a princess prom post s5 and being a cute look for them over all.

red (2012)

treacherous--post ‘save the cat’, catra learning redemption is....something she Wants

the last time--post-portal. def reminds me of the scene where catra saves glimmer and apologizes to adora

sad beautiful tragic-- break up sadness

the lucky one--more adora becoming she ra/learning the truth of mara

i almost do--catra & adora missing each other on opposite sides of the war

come back...be here--^^

state of grace--end of/post s5

1989 (2014)

out of the woods--i mean..........those ladies entered the whispering woods in s1 on a stolen skiff and did not leave until the end of the series

all you had to do was stay-- aside from the title... “let me remind you this was what you wanted // you ended it// you were all I wanted //but not like this”. def catra yearning

i wish you would--all of the lyrics. all of them

bad blood--warrants no explanation

this love-- “when you’re young, you just run// but you always come back to what you need”......................the defense rests

clean--s4 adora accepting and coming to terms w catra’s decision

wonderland-- really captures the betrayal/hurt of s1 catradora

you are in love-- adora POV// subtle moments leading up to realizing she loves catra

new romantics--”we need love, but all we want is danger//we team up then switch sides like a record changer”

catra’s personal memoir reputation (2017)

i did something bad--a title that could (unfortunately for everyone else) summarize a large majority of catra’s decisions. the song is very justified/righteous anger/revenge. basically a ‘fuck you, i know i’m bad’ & embracing that. reminds me of her kicking sw & hordaks ass (the rebellion could never) and her just...war criming it up in the crimson waste

Look What You Made Me Do-- void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra void!catra--

getaway car--could see this from adora’s perspective to catra solely for the whole leaving/betrayal bit. but might be more fighting for double trouble & catra’s relationship

dancing with our hands tied-- i mean...lyrically. everything. but esp ‘I'd kiss you as the lights went out//swaying as the room burned down//I'd hold you as the water rushes in//If I could dance with you again”

dress-- “i dont want you like a best friend”. period. end of sentence.

this is why we can’t have nice things--s1 promise feels. the lack of forgiveness, the shade. u know.

lover (2019)

cruel summer-- “i scream for whatever it’s worth, i love you--ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” the heart. the longing. the ‘i dont want to keep secrets just to keep you’

the archer-- ‘who could ever leave me, but who could stay?’ + the rest of the song is v fitting for both catra/adora

afterglow--making up, admitting wrongs--catra perspective

miss americana & the heartbreak prince--idk just the narrative of the song reminds me of them

it’s nice to have a friend--whooooh boy this post is not about glimbow but this song works equally as well for them

daylight--enjoy the healing

lover--enjoy the healing pt 2

death by a thousand cuts-- warrants 0 explanation

folklore (2020)

finally

the 1-- definitley adora POV, reminiscing on maybe what they could have been. maybe in a world where catra never redeemed herself or they never reunited and adora watched her friends pair up/get married/build lives w each other, she might realize there is a whole in her heart. a part that’s missing and cant be explained, but she feels it every time she looks at glimmer&bow.

cardigan-- feels like catra writing a letter to adora. reflecting on the feelings of hurt and betrayal after time has passed and the anger fades

exile -- lowkey the premise of my fic but. ‘i’m not your problem anymore/ you were my crown/ now i’m in exile seeing you out’ catra was raised to feel like she was adora’s problem to fix. she feels cast aside by her for a majority of the series etc

my tears ricochet-- “i didn't have it in myself to go with grace//and you're the hero flying around saving face//and if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?//cursing my name, wishing I stayed//look at how my tears ricochet” tswift explained this in the doc about how no one can hurt you like your best friend turned enemy. so i think in that sense this song works from adora’s perspective--but there’s so much bitterness and anger that i feel like it fits more from catra’s POV

seven-- “love you to the moon and to saturn//passed down like folksongs//the love lasts so long” i feel like this is so young/child adora and her feelings of protectiveness over catra. their bond through trauma and abuse

august--lmaoooooo i know. ok i KNOW what the deal is. i KNOW that cardigan, august and betty are a narrative story and really there are 3 POVs--james, betty & august. but i will do with that what i please. i just see catra’s pov from this song just as much as i see it for cardigan. her losing adora/feeling like adora doesn’t want her back or will choose other ppl over her.

this is me trying--can fit adora’s need to be everything for everyone/fear of failure--leading to burn out. also works for what i assume how catra’s redemption arc continued post s5. progress isn’t linear and this can show both of them struggling to recover from abuse

invisible string--if u strip out the imagery of taylor and her mans then sure

mad woman--i MEAN...is this not catra’s villain origin story? so often she was just poked/kicked/provoked into continuing down the dark path. not always by adora but regardless.

epiphany-- ‘with you i serve, with you i fall down’ reminding me of them both fighting/practicing/training together pre-s1 as well as them finally teaming up

betty--betty betty betty. the worst thing these two have ever done is what they did to each other. i see it more catra to adora, but it can go either way. gotta admire catra’s range for fitting into the role of betty, august + james... who else is doing it quite like her?

peace-- adora to catra. she can never not be she ra. is that enough for catra?

hoax--def more of a catra POV

evermore (2020?)

tbd......

#not me including almost the entire folklore album on here.........not my explanation solely devolving into brain rot......................#catradora #catra #adora #spop #tswift #long ass post my b

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tartagilicious · 4 years ago

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Tagged 🥥)) In that case id like a mlqc + hq matchups if possible 🥺 im 5’5 w an athletic build, i have very straight natural blonde hair, it’s currently dark brown, cut to about my cheekbones but its like choppy and a bit longer in the back. I dont have a style tbh i just wear comfortable clothes like hoodies and shorts. My personality types are 4w5 INTJ Aquarius; I get worn out after hanging out with large groups of people nonetheless i love hanging out with them,

Tagged 🥥)) tho I’ll mostly be glued to one person to whole time. Im friendly with everyone even if i dont like them, tho it takes a while for me to consider someone an actual friend. I need time for most everything i do; I hate rushing things- and deadlines, it stresses me. I’ll end this by saying thank you so much, I really appreciate you reading through this and taking the time to write matches for me!! 🧡🧡

—

me: yeah making matchups is just so draining for some reason idk

also me: writes an entire essay on why an anon is made for this fictional character

for mlqc, I’d match you with Shaw!

- I headcanon shaw to be an ENTP, and while INTJs and ENTPs generally aren’t each other’s natural matches, they’re still a good pair nonetheless!

- being more of a half and half kind of pair, there are both notable and small differences in the way you either handle yourselves or just express things in general. but! in my opinion, the most important part of this pairing is the way that you’re able to fill in each other’s blanks —

- you mentioned that you get worn out in large groups but still love hanging out with them, which when being compared to an ENTP, is the opposite. that personality type enjoys being the leader, and for other outside reasons, I have absolutely no doubt that Shaw would love having you glued to his side for an entire night

- he’d pretend not to like it, when we all know he’d actually love it. a constant familiar presence is extremely comforting, especially in a crowded setting. imagine him silently holding your hand the entire night, and while he might talk to other people in the beginning, he ends up roped in a deep conversation with you for hours.

- I feel like he would be so nice to talk to 🥺 he has a traumatic past, so he’s a bit more understanding of a lot of issues than a normal person probably would be, and. plus, in a relationship setting, he’d just be so appalled at the idea of his s/o having any type of past regret. you deserve to be happy and he’ll try his damn best to make sure that with him, you are.

- we love silent pining!! that is actually not very silent at all!! shaw!!

- shaw, having adopted the tactic of being an asshole to push people away, doesn’t know whether to be jealous of your ability to be nice to everyone, or to resent it completely. I could see his teeth just grinding whenever you’re nice to someone you don’t really like, especially when you both know that if the roles were reversed, shaw would be on the run from the cops in 5 minutes or less

- but in actuality, I could see your personalities mixing really nicely. shaw, the more shameless and outgoing one, and you, someone who is probably on the more reserved side that doesn’t know how the hell someone like him roped you in. it’s like a magnetic force.

- taking the example of you being stressed about deadlines, I can just imagine shaw’s silent affection when trying to help you out, because he isn’t really sure how to express affection, but he’ll try his best for you 🥺💞

- he’ll actively make sure you keep yourself on track if he knows you won’t. that one fic I wrote where he drops in through the window at like 10pm? it becomes a reality babey. shaw hates seeing you stressed, because it changes people. he doesn’t want the feeling of obligation to mould you like it did him.

- but onto the actual relationship quirks — when I say I want this- 😫

- his love language to you might look something like this: letting you take a break (or keep working!) while sitting in his arms on the couch while he naps silently over your shoulder. bringing you random drinks from a nearby cafe just because he saw you stressing. getting into the little habit of squeezing your hand three times for “I love you”

- 🤲😳✨

(alternate match, lucien)

for haikyuu, I’d match you with Oikawa!

- I was SO caught up in this you DO NOT understand — this was a life or death decision for me it had to make perfect sense and there was no going back. though, I’m not gonna get into mbti matches much this time, because there’s just so much raw material to get through

- now that my English teacher has possessed me, Oikawa ✨

- Oikawa’s mbti, I think, is ENFJ! you guys naturally compliment each other, and from the brief accounts I read from people in relationships of this match, you’re set for success. you both share the basic characteristics of being loyal, respectful (generally of privacy, boundaries, etc) and both being more of a leader type, are open to listening to the people around you.

- anyways, onto the more personal aspects of this relationship-

- I headcanon the Oikawa just craves a domestic type of relationship with someone where you can just be each other’s rocks. he wants someone that will always be there and notice if he’s in a bad mood, which, judging from your personality I think would be a great equation 🥺 you can be honest with each other, and that’s one of your greatest strengths.

- he craves a storybook romance, so, his love language might be a bit different than yours, but I’m willing to bet that his cheesiness might be something that grows on you, if you don’t already like it.

- he’ll go all-out for holidays like white day! but would you be able to tell the difference between a white day gift and a normal gift? maybe not. he’s extra for the people around him that are genuine 🥺

- taking what you said about not liking large groups of people but still finding yourself happy to be around them, Oikawa is the perfect subject for this. He enjoys being the centre of attention, and can often be found in a crowded place like this whether he means to or not. but, Oikawa is also the type of person to never forget about who’s beside him. even if people gravitate towards him, he’ll always keep you closest, and make it a point that he’ll never ignore you despite his popularity

- and UgHhH I CAN JUST IMAGINE HIS SURPRISE WHEN HE FINDS OUT HOW SIMILAR YOU ARE TO HIM IN THE WAY YOU MAKE FRIENDS. it may not be for the same reasons, but it just makes him feel justified that he’s not alone in taking a while to accept someone’s friendship

- I don’t know how old you are, anon, but when you mention deadlines I think of schoolwork, so let me tell you — Oikawa. You. The library. Him making a thoughtful schedule for the both of you during exam season, all for the sole purpose of making sure that you don’t get more stressed out than you need to be—

- for the most part, Oikawa would literally be the perfect boyfriend. If he learned to integrate someone into his volleyball life, that is 😔 but don’t lose hope anon! your Oikawa is out there~

(alternate matches, osamu or kuroo)

#matchup #haikyuu #mlqc

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jamalexlee · 5 years ago

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Ask me: FANDOM EDITION: Allll of them, please!?

To clarify its for Brooklyn 99

A - Your current OTP: Ok so I have to cheat right out the box - cos I have two. Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago and Captain Raymond Holt and Kevin Cozner. They’re just perfect for each other, so complimentary and so in love - but real you know?

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind Jake and Doug Judy. They are a friendship otp (mostly) but yeah lifelong togetherness. And it was tumblr that got me wondering on this.

C - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will Jake and Amy with anyone that isn’t each other during the show. Brooklyn 99 is better at this than most tv shows but the people introduced solely to keep the will-they-won’t-they couple apart will always annoy me - its just taking air time from the bits of a show I like and forces so much jealousy and stuff - and I’m not into that

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t Rosa Diaz/Adrian Pimento. They just never clicked for me as a couple and she is so out of his league its painful. Not that I’m against Rosa having a boyfriend I actually liked her with Marcus and was upset when they broke up. But yeah…

E - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what I don’t think I’ve offered much to the 99 fandom - I mostly reblog others bits and agree or add silly comments.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? 22 years. I was with Buffy from the get go - and while its got its issues and bits of it hasn’t aged very well I wouldn’t have been the same without this show in my life.

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it? Bangel. The combinded high romance and excruciating pain had me hooked. I still feel it when I watch it all these years later.

H - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime series? My anime interest has grown over the last few years but action still wins overall - especially since I can’t help loving seeing my favourite characters in pain - and the live action means we get to see the actors and actresses hurt and cry for the sake of the drama - anime can’t compare.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? I try not to let tumblr do that to me if I can help it (these days anyway) but (and I realise I could die for this) I have started to dislike corners of the Star Wars fandom due to their treatment of certain characters.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. Oh god so many - but… sense8. It was advertised no where so I wouldn’t have known it existed or watched it without tumblr giffing the hell out of it - and wouldn’t that have been a shame.

K - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom? I’m assuming this is Brooklyn 99 so… I love them. Honestly. Their love kept the show going when it was cancelled allowing us to continue enjoying this wonderful funny show.

L - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? @lupismaris please please more chapters for But Alone is Alone (Not Alive)

M - Your favorite fanart or fanartist? I’m so bad with names - but I’m hoping the upcoming Silverflint Big Bang and rarepairing weeks will teach me the names better.

N - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor? See above - I have so many I love but I suck with names.

O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of? Only Love Can Hurt Like This - Paloma Faith - and Silverflint. Seriously there’s a fanvid to this on Youtube that fits them so well.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas): Black Sails - Thomas comes to Nassau instead of Flint going to him. There are so many characters I need him to meet on that island. Feel free to have him arrive in earlier season to meet characters that totally didn’t die (vane cough cough) - and p.s. I’m total Silverflinthamilton trash so yeah…

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why? Destiel. I hung on to this for far longer than I should have mostly because I couldn’t handle the truth of this pairing - that it was world-class queerbaiting of the highest degree - mind you I stayed with Supernatural for longer than was sane too (9 seasons god help me)

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships. Is there actually a ship in any fandom that no one has ever thought of before? I mean even as Crack!fic it’ll have been done. I guess my closest is Joshua Donovan and Steve Jinx from Warehouse 13 - I don’t know if anyone ever put those two together and its a small fandom

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon: I don’t really have a personal headcanon for Brooklyn 99 - I agree with a bit of fanon that’s gotten popular - Bi!Jake. Honestly I kinda love the idea of Jake having been oblivious and accidentally had a boyfriend without him realising - and it being played by John Mulaney.

T - If you mostly have homoships, do you have any heteroships? Bangel, Peraltiago, Willow/Oz, Fred/Gunn - though I should mention that I headcanon one or both of these couples as bi so… not totally hetero.

U - If you mostly have heteroships, do you have any homoships? I mostly ship queer ships - its just a fact. And if I ship it I’ll reblog about it - probably more than people would like honestly.

V - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping? Don’t be daft. But on the same token - why’s it bad if you do? Shipping is just another part of fandom. Another avenue of interest and discussions to have in your fandom. And why would you deny yourself an extra dimension of enjoyment.

W - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms: Ok so not choosing Black Sails for this because how in the hell do you pick just one favourite character in that? I’m changes several times a day. Honestly I’d struggle to do a top 10. So Tara Maclay, Buffy The Vampire Slayer - I saw so much of myself in her when that show first came out and she was a very important character - and I’m still pissed about what the show did to her. Captain Raymond Holt, Brooklyn 99 - god what a character, so much too long about him and he is a complete character flaws and all. Wynonna Earp - I love this woman soo much - and not just because the actress that plays her is a goddess either (honest), Dave Lister, Red Dwarf - I’m literally watching it right now - and honestly it was the first time I’d heard my own accent on television and I fell in love immediately and The Doctor - honestly a favourite character that can be a totally different character from one season to another? Classic - this character hasn’t been used the best yet (seriously why always white and why so long to be present as female?) The Doctor is still unique and wonderful character I’ve loved many versions of.

X - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms: Silverflint - there’s just so much in that relationship so much to work with, unpack, rewrite and do with it - you’d never run out of things to do with it - especially if like me you’re cool with either Hamilton or Madi added in (or all of the above), Holmes/Watson - in all versions in all mediums they are soulmates in all of them and I’ll never get bored of these two together, Posner/Scripps - it never happened in canon but it should have - Scripps is oblivious but totally in love with Posner and Posner knows - Scripps will figure it out in University and they will live happily ever after.

Y - A fandom you’re in but have no ships from: The IT Crowd - I don’t ship anyone there. Not really anyway.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go: Black Sails is awesome - if you haven’t watched it go do it now - you won’t regret it - but fair warning it’ll ruin all other shows for you.

#Ask me fandom edition #I know I've answered them all but some are for only one fandom soo...

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jennycalendar · 6 years ago

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2018 fic writing roundup

tagged by @catty-words !! thank u darling

i have this lingering suspicion that the 92k mess that is imperfections has a tendency of bumping up my word count, but also i’ve been writing particularly A Lot this year. so. yikes. this’ll be a mess

Total 2018 Word Count: 465,233 (so uh. yikes squared?) Total 2018 Hits: 16,798 Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,592; Comment threads: 457; Bookmarks: 186; Subscriptions: 121.

Total 2017 Word Count: 171,640 Total 2017 Hits: 9,156 Other 2017 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 841; Comment threads: 172; Bookmarks: 126; Subscriptions: 40.

Links and Titles to 2018 Works (buckle up kids)

ten questions for new year’s eve (6,669 words) lonely s4 giles meets jenny on new year’s eve. basically fluff laced with some light angst, which i think set the tone for most of my writing this year

forever (4,738 words) some assorted femslash ficlets from tumblr that i immediately forgot about after february. it of course got buried under a deluge of jenny fic but there’s still some cute stuff there! i had a lot of fun in particular writing about bb willow and the beginnings of her attraction to girls

she’s your destiny (9,560 words) AHHHHHH I FORGOT I WROTE THIS. blessings of writing This Much. soulmate au with buffy/willow and giles/jenny where like. none of them are soulmates but they fall crazy in love anyway.

the happy-ending bouquet (3,851 words) set in 2018. giles and jenny have been married for something like 15 years and are still very happy and in love. basically just an endless deluge of fluff

personas (2,729 words) hhhhh i hesitate to count this as a 2018 fic, because i technically posted it in summer 2017 and then deleted it for reasons unknown (even to me). but there aren’t enough fics that explore jenny’s fractured sense of identity and her broken heart and i love my girl so much. so. wrote that.

something real (2,173 words) my valentine’s day fic!! a friend and i share the headcanon that jenny would have finally shoved her way back into giles’s heart if not for the love spell throwing her off, so. wrote a fic where that happened, albeit somewhat angstily.

direct, but not unwelcome (4,478 words) this fic always makes me cringe, a little; the office verse was written largely for faith and tara, and writing giles and jenny in it was a decision i don’t entirely like (mostly bc there really is no narrative place for either of them). but it has a few good lines ig?

putting a ring on it (2,370 words) giles and jenny proposal fic!! a little wobbly in places imo but still so fun to write. those two deserve all the fluff

the second choice soulmates (6,942 words) the inevitable faith/tara sequel to the soulmate au!! i had it planned from the second i started writing the first fic in that series, and i had a lot of fun with it. in which faith and tara have to deal with their soulmates being in love with each other, and end up falling in love themselves.

nightmares and the aftermath (1,205 words) the first fic i wrote in the ripper au! ripper has a nightmare; jenny talks him through it.

the inherent complexity of falling in love (3,519 words) more soulmate au nonsense!! this time with solely giles and jenny!!

let’s stay together (857 words) i say that this is “a series of vignettes in which ben, ann, and leslie are dating” but really it’s just one. i’ve kept it in bc i really wanna write more than one. ben/leslie/ann is such a blessed ship and there are no fics for it! which is ridiculous! because they really should all be dating!! leslie has two hands y’all

moments of connection in an uncertain world (3,351 words) the olivia/jenny fic that set that amazing ship on its course. set in asoue; jenny’s identity in the narrative is ambiguous bc jenny’s identity in every narrative is ambiguous. mystery bicon

amends (remixed) (2,988 words) i’m like 99 percent sure i spite-wrote this fic after watching amends bc that really seems like something i would do. in which ghost jenny makes sure buffy, angel, and giles all know that she doesn’t blame them for a single thing.

it’s a family affair (11 chapters) jenny, married to giles and mom to two daughters, loses her memory. i meant for this to be an exploration of jenny and giles’s relationship + jenny as a character, but with hindsight i feel like i kinda rushed it. maybe someday i’ll come back and expand this a little?

maybe i’m in love (24 chapters) CRIES. this fic was posted all in one day and got buried under the deluge of fic i wrote this year and i am still so sad that it remains forgotten. even by me. like i forgot it existed till now. but it is the treasure of my heart and i am still not sure what i can possibly do for calendiles day 2019 that will even come close to “slow burn giles/jenny series rewrite in script format.”

dragonslayers (8,048 words) i go back and forth between whether adding a sequel to a sappy-happy-ending fic was actually needed, but i had a lot of fun writing jenny and anya and tara being friends and adopting a dog. those girls deserve so much better.

tech support (1,315 words) jenny works at angel investigations, and giles meets her when he and buffy drive up to la to get a book. unabashed fluff.

family ties (2,294 words) giles introduces jenny to his dad and the aunts. i had giles call himself “rupert” for the entire fic and forgot to explain why i made the choice to do so (and there was a damn good reason!!!) so every time i see this fic....Regret™

i like you (992 words) the product of me realizing “wait, i never wrote a fic about my Very Specific Headcanon that giles and jenny had sex after school hard!!!” and then going ahead and writing that fic. not explicit; lots of giles and jenny being dumb and in love

take me now! (3,460 words) the sister fic to my other jenny/olivia fic! in this one, jenny’s a watcher and olivia’s the sweet librarian who has her all blushy.

the grieving process (9,771 words) this fic! was! such a trip to write! i wanted to write something where giles’s s6 issues were confronted. originally i wrote a jenny’s-alive fic where he goes to her place in la after leaving buffy in tabula rasa, but the mood of that fic was miserable and hostile, so i changed things ever so slightly. and then it became “giles goes to jenny after buffy dies,” and that transitioned into “giles actually finally gets to have an outlet for his emotions,” and then it became a very soft fic that i love very much.

unsolved mysteries (1,704 words) a modern jackaby au! where jenny cavanaugh has trauma-related anxiety and eats pretzels w jackaby in a hall closet! surprisingly soft.

the cleanup crew (2,968 words) post-ted; buffy calls jenny and giles in to help her with ted’s robot body. because that ep was a hot mess and too many things were tied up too fast.

princess charming (2,754 words) written thanks to a throwaway line from the grieving process! about jenny saving fred in pylea! @theforestlesbian mentioned in a review that this fic came off as “the adventures of jenny” and that was the best compliment ever.

untraditional, unconditional (4,223 words) ripper au! ripper and jenny get married! i don’t think i will ever write a better calendiles wedding than this one.

gettin’ bi (1,215 words) jenny and giles come out to each other. that’s really it.

intimacy (1,058 words) some root/shaw fluff. g o sh at some point i really should finish poi huh

the battle’s done (and we kind of won) (5,026 words) post-chosen; jenny inexplicably comes back from the dead, and giles works thru the messy aftermath of s7.

chaos, vengeance, love (1,412 words) giles’s exes talk over his grave. (and yes, i do mean jenny and ethan.)

buffy summers, muggle-born (6,075 words) buffy goes to hogwarts! this was meant to set the scene for a loosely connected string of fics, but i could never decide whether i wanted them to be chaptered fics or oneshots. i do have like 3 large chapters saved to my computer, tho :/

a eulogy (920 words) jenny calendar, as told by how she’s remembered.

survivors’ guilt (4,690 words) in which giles dies instead of jenny, and jenny and buffy deal with it poorly. my only problem w this fic is that i really wish i’d explored the messy aftermath of what might have happened if jenny had brought giles back. 2019 project y/y?

regarding honor and honesty in the workplace (43 chapters) CRIES IN JENNY/LILAH. given that i did not shut up about this fucking fic for a good 3 months, i don’t think it needs a summary.

maybe we could have a thing (3,184 words) giles and jenny’s first date!! canon told us they went out beforehand and it really did need to be ficced.

the most important words (2,753 words) passion fix-it! how many of these have i written dfshlsdhdf. anyway, by some lucky stroke, jenny doesn’t die, but she’s understandably kind of a mess. giles tries to help.

that brown-eyed technopagan (2,821 words) ripper au! willow has a HUGE crush on jenny calendar, who in this ‘verse is in her senior year at sunnydale high. lots of high school shenanigans.

seven new and very bad songs about jenny (8,597 words) another ripper au fic, this one about what it takes for ripper to finally give in and kiss the girl.

love of mine (282 words) one of the two fics i have written that involves giles grieving jenny. angst abounds.

the adjustment period (4024 words) i wanted to write about how weak vamp jenny is for her gf, so i returned to the grand romantic gestures ‘verse and explored that. femslash calendiles!!

love, scotch, and late-night parties (2,539 words) the aftermath of eyghon in the ripper au. jenny wants to be smothered in attention from ripper; ripper wants to give jenny the space he thinks she needs. basically the exact opposite of canon with the exact same inability to communicate.

father and son (3,761 words) in which ripper examines his relationship to his dad, and worries about treating his new son the same way. (spoiler alert: he obviously does not.)

imperfections (46 chapters) TECHNICALLY i added a few new chapters in 2018. i stg i’ll at least get closer to finishing it this year.

happily ever after (2,005 words) set after the dire king! jenny and jackaby being dumb and in love and experimenting with “the mechanics of ghost-human relations.”

cardboard robot (2,097 words) ripper au: halloween edition! ripper gets a pumpkin stuck on his head and sings about jenny, who Definitely Doesn’t Like Him What Are You Talking About Shut Up.

tea, with honey (3,295 words) a modern jackaby au, where jenny’s trauma really is trauma with no ghost metaphor. jackaby, darling of my heart, is still just as sympathetic.

very really married (6 chapters) THIS I WILL FINISH IN 2019. FOR REALS. i have too many unpublished chapters on my laptop to NOT finish it. set in s1; giles and jenny get drunk married in las vegas pre-canon. which, of course, adds a whole new level of complexity to both of giles’s new jobs.

coping (2,611 words) i really wanted to write about jenny and eyghon, bc there are like 0 fics that address the absolute mess that canon throws at that woman. so i did. very angsty with no clear happy ending, bc that’s what happens when you write canon compliant fic about jenny calendar.

yours (2,747 words) my first foray into writing phryne and jack! and, if the 4k-and-counting wip is anything to go by, definitely not my last. 2018 brought me a lot of things, but watching mfmm all the way through was definitely one of the best.

family ties (2,640 words) catch me crying about river and the ponds for the rest of my life, probably. centered around river’s graduation from luna university and her relationship with her parents.

decently clothed (1,516 words) lots of dumb calendiles fluff!! based on a paragraph from a btvs novel; jenny and giles go clothes shopping. it’s exactly as cute as it sounds.

making things right (1,060 words) passion fix-it that came to me when i thought “what if jenny survived, but didn’t even care that she’d almost died, bc what really mattered was that she’d fixed things with giles and buffy?? lmao how badly would that fuck giles up, knowing that she placed earning his trust over her own life???” and then i wrote it bc i love pain

bless her soul (6,294 words) s3. jenny comes back wrong. lots of explorations of the guilt that buffy, giles, and angel harbored for jenny’s death, with none of the pain of using jenny solely as a mouthpiece for evil. so like. amends done right.

dear friend (1 chapter, so far) a you’ve got mail calendiles au that i really do intend to work on some more in 2019.

haunted (15,622 words) WHAT a note to end 2018 on. a (mostly) non-supernatural au in which jenny, after an intense & awful trauma, leaves sunnydale and buys a ridiculously inexpensive mansion in england. why was it so cheap? because giles, the ghost who lives there, has been scaring off buyers. naturally, jenny is not easily rattled.

Favorite Fic: it’s hard to choose bc i wrote so many but for now i’ll pick bless her soul. writing the-first-as-jenny and playing up scooby guilt while still getting to bring jenny back for a happy ending??? that was just so much fun.

Hardest Fic: very really married. absolutely. i was in a v weird place while writing that fic, so that certainly didn’t help, but that fic has been giving me Trouble since i started writing it.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2019? always!!

What was the best thing about 2018? friendsssss!!! i’m entering 2019 with a lot of solid friendships, which really wasn’t the case in 2018.

What was the worst thing about 2018? tbh the answer will always and forever be “my mom” until i am out of this house

Any last thoughts for 2018? how the FUCK did i WRITE more than half of the fics i have posted on ao3 in THIS YEAR ALONE. 55 FICS. i’m REELING.

Goals for 2019

finish the cheesy au g/j multichapters i started

maybe start work on a detective au sequel? i miss that ‘verse

more ripper au fic!!!!!

more jenny/olivia!!!

more jenny centric fic in general like It’s What She Deserves

SOMETHING about jenny and angel. i talk big talk about how much that dynamic fascinates me but i only ever touch on it in fic. it’s never the central focus.

finish the phryne/jack fic i’m working on, and maybe...tentatively...write more?

#fic #fic roundup #55 FICS WRITTEN i am. kinda in shock #i wanna tag people but i don't know who writes what so like #if u wanna do this consider urself tagged????

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the-rogue-apostate · 6 years ago

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Out of the Darkness

Hi everyone, and welcome to "Out of the Darkness"! Just a few things I'd like to get out of the way:

Karalynn Bristow is not a human noble; want to put that out there first and foremost. It's solely a preference thing; you'll know what she's about pretty soon.

I will take liberties with a few canon details here and there, and I'll be happy to point them out or even offer explanations if anyone wishes me to.

This story is the first of three total stories encompassing the Inquisition storyline. HOWEVER, there will also be what I like to call "deleted scenes" that I'll post as separate works; basically little snippets here and there that don't necessarily need to be in the main story.

This will eventually lead to Cullen/Inquisitor, though the bulk of the romance will begin in the next story. If you're familiar with the romance from the game, you'll likely know what I mean.

I want to thank my good friend @veridium-bye!. She helped me a great deal in editing this thing, and indulged me in my ideas and rants about lore and whatnot. Please check her out, she also writes great fics!

Generally, I will post a chapter every few days; if that changes, I will let you know.

All right! Thanks for reading my schpiel, let's get into it!

P.S. - some of you might wonder why I describe Leliana as wearing "dark armor" - I envision her in my head looking like she does in the "Dark and Worn - Leliana Remade" mod: (minus the green eyes the mod gives her)

Also, here’s a link to the story on Ao3!

Forward

The Chantry, the dominant religious organization in Thedas, is law.

It is rooted in four core principles which shape its very rule:

Firstly, magic is a corrupting influence in the world, and it should only be used to serve man; never to control him.

Second, Humankind’s sin of pride destroyed the Golden City, the seat of the Maker, and created darkspawn. The darkspawn are the living embodiment of that sin, and it is these creatures that released the taint upon the world.

Third is that the blessed Andraste was the bride of the Maker, a prophet and martyr whose ultimate sacrifice must be remembered and honored.

And finally, Humankind has sinned and must seek penance to earn the Maker’s forgiveness. When all people unite to praise the Maker, He will return to the world and make it a paradise.

Every Chantry in Thedas preaches this, and yet Thedas could not be farther from the Maker’s return. Humans are the only race to openly practice and participate in this religion, and as such, they are quick to segregate themselves from the other races of the land. Elves, dwarves, and Qunari; few members of each race may claim to believe in the Maker, but as such, none would be allowed to serve in the Chantry under any capacity.

And let us not forget those who are most segregated from the world under Chantry law; the mages.

In Thedas, with the exception of Tevinter, humans and elves born with the ability to wield magic are quickly taken into Chantry custody and housed in Circle towers. It is there they are taught how to use their abilities under the watchful eye of the Chantry’s templars. They are evaluated, monitored, and eventually undergo a harrowing to prove their mettle. It is considered a true success for a mage to pass their harrowing, but even so, becoming a full-fledged mage in the eyes of the Circle does not guarantee their freedom. No, under Chantry law, mages are deemed too dangerous to live amongst regular civilians and must remain confined to the Circle tower for the rest of their days. And despite the Chantry’s claim that it is only to ensure the safety of civilians and mages alike, it has been considered an outrage by the latter for ages.

And in 9:37 Dragon, a mage who had been living outside of the Circle, better known as an apostate, was finally driven over the edge by this injustice. He was called Anders, and his rage drove him to a breaking point which caused him to destroy the Chantry of Kirkwall in an explosion that shook the whole of Thedas.

And with that, the Mage Rebellion was born.

One by one, the Circle towers fell. Mages everywhere cast off the shackles of the Chantry and fled to their freedom. But it was not without resistance. The Templars of the Chantry, whose services were long taken advantage of, answered the call to arms and began hunting down these apostates. Their efforts were long taken for granted, however, and eventually they, too, rebelled against the Chantry.

By 9:40, the Chantry’s infrastructure was crumbling and on the verge of ruin. It’s leader, Divine Justinia V, made a final desperate attempt to end the violence once and for all. She called the mages and the templars to meet at her Divine Conclave at the Temple of Sacred Ashes in Haven. If both side of the war could not reach an agreement here and now, Thedas would most assuredly be doomed.

At least, that is what most people thought. That the Mage-Templar War was the greatest danger they faced.

Little did they know that the true danger had yet to reveal itself.

A danger, despite knowing the core principles upon which they are based, that the Chantry did not expect.

Lucky for them, however, that in the face of an unexpected danger, there comes the opportunity for unexpected heroes.

Perhaps, then, the Maker has not entirely turned His back on Thedas after all…

Chapter 1

Everything hurts.

My head, my back, my knees, my…hand…?

My left hand…

Where am I…?

In her groggy waking state, Karalynn Bristow attempted to comprehend these thoughts – though her crippling exhaustion was not making it easy. All was made clear, however, as her eyes drifted open to reveal an unfamiliar sight.

She was kneeling on the floor in the center of a dungeon. It was dark, cold and damp; and she wasn’t alone. Surrounding her were four men, presumably guards, and their swords were drawn and pointed directly at her. Not only that, her wrists had been tightly shackled and chained to the floor.

This realization woke her up just a bit more.

Kara whipped her head around to look at each guard as she tried to figure out who they were. Their armor was unfamiliar, and their faces covered by their helms, but they guarded her with purpose. But what the hell could their purpose possibly be? Where was she? How did she even get here? And why was she in shackles?

These questions swirled around in her head, and her panic started to worsen. She was ready to open her mouth and demand answers, but any attempts at speech were immediately cut off by a sudden green light flashing out of nowhere. From what she could tell, its origin point came from the floor, and after her eyes adjusted to the brightness she lowered her head to investigate. Fortunately, it didn’t take her long to realize it’s true source.

What the fuck is in my hand?

The green light flashed once more, and this time it was accompanied by a searing pain in her palm. She cried out, clenching her hand into a fist. The pain subsided after a few seconds, as did the light, but she felt no relief.

The door to the dungeon flew open with a bang. The lighting was low, even through the door, so she could only make out two silhouettes. Two women, it appeared, both tall, one donning a hood while the other carried a sword on her belt. The woman at the front approached her with purpose, and her features revealed themselves clearly.

She was indeed tall, with short black hair and a long scar adorning her pale cheek. She couldn’t quite make out the color of her eyes…only that they were drilling a hole into her very soul. Whoever this woman was, she clearly wasn’t happy. She slowed her pace as she approached and began walking around the back of her. Kara was certain she was going to feel a blade through her spine at any moment.

The other woman approached her, though most of her features were hidden by her dark hood. She donned dark armor from head to toe, and from what Kara could tell, she was glaring at her as well.

It was now becoming clear that these people, whoever they were, thought she was a criminal. Why, however, she had yet to find out. In truth, she was more concerned with the glowing shard embedded in her left palm.

In the midst of her internal concerns, however, she almost didn’t notice that the dark-haired woman had leaned down close to her head.

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now…”

A more foreboding sentence could not have been spoken, and the woman’s thick accent made it twice as menacing. All Kara could do was turn to face her and furrow her brow in confusion. As much as she hated to admit it, she was scared.

No, with everything that was happening, she was terrified.

“The Conclave is destroyed,” the dark-haired woman continued, resuming her slow strut around her. “Everyone who attended is dead…”

Her tone was clearly laced with grief, but it made her no less intimidating. She stopped suddenly, turning on her heel and thrusting a finger in the young woman’s face.

“…Except for you.”

Kara was more confused than ever. What Conclave? What did she mean everyone was dead, except for her? How did this happen, and what does it have to do with the mark in her hand?

…Wait.

The Conclave…The Divine Conclave at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I was there…

“What do you mean ‘everyone is dead’? What happened?” she finally managed to choke out hoarsely.

The dark-haired woman grabbed her shackled left hand and held it out in front of her, glaring. The mark flared up once more, and Kara winced.

“Explain this!” she demanded, thrusting it back down to her knees.

“I can’t!” she shot back, sharper than she’d intended.

“What do you mean you can’t?” she questioned, her tone indicating she was growing impatient.

“I mean I don’t know what the hell this thing is, or how it got there!”

Kara couldn’t help but yell, as she was growing more and more frustrated. She immediately regretted it, however, as the woman lunged forward and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“You’re lying!” she growled, tightening her grip.

A mix of fear and anger boiled within Kara. It was clear this woman wanted to kill her for a terrible crime she didn’t commit; and there currently was no way for Kara to prove otherwise. As this woman continued to rough her up, Kara thought about her options. She could conjure a fireball, throw it in the woman’s face…but she wasn’t the only adversary in the room. The soldiers surrounding her would cut her down in a second. And no matter what she did, she was still locked tightly in her shackles.

But before she realized it, the hooded woman stepped forward and pulled the dark-haired woman back. Kara exhaled quietly.

“We need her, Cassandra!” the hooded woman told her.

Cassandra…

Cassandra nodded, stepping back even farther and straightening up. The hooded woman then turned back to Kara, studying her. If there were ever a chance to talk her way out of this, it was now.

The problem was, she didn’t know what to say. Then she remembered what the dark-haired woman said a moment prior.

“…everyone who attended is dead…except for you…”

“Are…are all those people really dead?” she asked, her voice still hoarse.

“Do you remember what happened? How this began?” the hooded woman asked.

Kara thought for a moment, though she worried her exasperation was beginning to show on her face. She could probably tell these people she knew nothing until she was blue in the face, and it wouldn’t satisfy them. It frustrated her even more than it frustrated them, her not being able to remember a damn thing before…

Wait…there is something…

“It’s all really fuzzy…” she began, staring at the floor as she tried to concentrate. “but I remember…running.”

Breathing heavily, her chest on fire, Kara took off as fast as she could. Where she would go, she had no clue. She had no idea where she was, how she had gotten here from the temple. All that mattered was that she outran the-

“Spiders. There were these giant spiders chasing me,” she continued. “There were at least a dozen of them, and they chased me to this-“

Rock face. There were what appeared to be steps embedded within, sticking out enough for her to just barely get a grip. She scaled the rock as fast as she could, but the spiders were gaining. She looked up, desperately searching for a sign that the top was near. The spiders were at her heels, and she could feel herself getting weaker. But then-

“…I saw a woman,” she remembered, clearly surprised by her own memory.

“A woman?” the hooded woman repeated, just as surprised.

“Yes…I-I don’t know who she was though. I couldn’t make out her features…but she…reached out to me…”

It was clear that the hooded woman’s curiosity was piqued, though Kara was having trouble remembering further. Cassandra then stepped forward and ushered the hooded woman towards the door.

“Go to the forward camp, Leliana,” she instructed. “I will take her to the rift.”

The rift?

The hooded woman nodded, then disappeared down the hall. Cassandra then turned back to Kara and approached her once more. Kara leaned back slightly as she knelt down in front of her, but was surprised when she began unlocking her shackles.

“What did happen?” Kara asked her. She realized that they didn’t tell her how the Conclave was destroyed, and she was genuinely curious. More than that, she wanted to know how she herself survived it; more than the rest of them did.

Cassandra quickly pulled a smaller set of shackles from her belt, fastening them to Kara’s wrists so that they were now locked closer together.

“It…would be easier to show you,” Cassandra explained, pulling Kara to her feet.

She turned and headed through the door, Kara quickly following suit. It was when she began to move, however, that Kara realized just how weak she was. Her knees still hurt, as did the rest of her legs, and she was fighting off a relentless pang of dizziness. She then wondered how long she had been unconscious…and just what exactly she went through before she was taken to the prison.

When they finally reached the front doors, Cassandra pushed them open. As Kara walked out slowly, she realized it was nighttime. She recalled entering the Temple during the day, so she knew it had to be at least a few hours later…

A flash of light caused Kara to avert her eyes for a moment, but when she looked back up she was met with a terrible sight. High up in the sky, a decent distance away and up above the mountains, there was a gaping hole in the clouds. It was massive, and the clouds around it morphed into a cyclone and glowed a blinding green. More than that, there was more of the green glow pouring out of it into the valley below, and green debris flying out of it in all directions. It didn’t even look real; it couldn’t be real.

“Maker…” Kara muttered in horror, unable to peel her eyes from it.

“We call it ‘The Breach,’” Cassandra explained. “It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour.”

Kara looked at her with disbelief. “’The world of demons?’ You’re talking about the Fade?”

Cassandra nodded. “Yes, and it’s not the only such rift. Just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.”

So it was an explosion…but how could an explosion blow a hole through the Veil?

“How could an explosion possibly do that? And you said it’s growing?” Kara was beginning to panic, but Cassandra was surprisingly calm. They may have been dealing with this longer than she thought.

“We are unsure. But unless we act, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world.”

Just as she finished her sentence, a large crack erupted through the air. A shockwave of bright light shot outward from the Breach and lit up the sky. Not even a second later, the mark in Kara’s hand erupted in the same fashion and sent a burst of pain through her entire left arm. She cried out, extending her arms out in front of her and fell to her knees. She grit her teeth as she rode out the pain, and after a few moments, it was gone. Cassandra knelt down in front of her as she attempted to slow her breathing.

“Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads, and it is killing you,” she explained, gesturing to Kara’s hand.

“Killing me?!”

“It may be the key to stopping this, however, there isn’t much time.”

Kara’s patience was running thin, especially now with the realization that this mysterious mark was draining her very life away. She wanted answers, but Cassandra merely wanted results. Either way, the confusion of it all was really starting to piss Kara off.

“What do you mean ‘it may be the key?’” Kara asked her, trying to keep her tone steady. “The key to doing what?”

“Closing the breach. Whether that’s possible is something we shall discover shortly. It is our only chance, however, and yours.”

With her last sentence, Kara finally started putting the pieces together in her head.

“I see…you people think I’m responsible…not just for the explosion, but for this thing in my hand,” she declared.

Cassandra’s eyes narrowed. “Someone is responsible for this, and you are our only suspect. As for the mark on your hand, all that is clear is that something went wrong. You wish to prove your innocence? This is the only way.”

Kara exhaled. As much as she hated to admit it, especially with her very life on the line, this woman was right. If everyone at the Conclave was indeed dead (which seemed likely considering the gaping hole right above where the Temple once stood), and she was the only one to miraculously survive, why wouldn’t they suspect her? She also thought about the obvious aspect to it all; that there is a danger threatening the world worse than anything she had ever seen. Whether she was in shackles or roaming free in the wilderness, she had to do something. She had to help close this Breach and save the few people she still had left in the world.

“You really think this mark can help close that thing?”

“That is what we believe,” Cassandra replied plainly.

“All right. If that’s the case, then I want to help. I don’t know if this thing will even work, but I know I have to try.”

Cassandra nodded, and the slightest hint of a smile crossed her lips as she helped pull Kara to her knees. Kara nodded in response, and the two of them began to make their way towards the camp nearby. There was still something nagging in Kara’s mind, however, something big enough to stop her dead in their tracks after just a few paces. Cassandra turned and looked at her in disbelief.

“What is it?” she asked impatiently.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Kara began, hesitating. “It’s…Cassandra, right?”

“Yes…” she replied slowly, confusion spreading across her face.

“Right…before we go, Cassandra, just tell me one thing. Who do you work for?” She was almost afraid to hear the answer. Cassandra sighed. “I am…was the Right Hand of the Divine to Divine Justinia V. I am an agent of the Chantry.”

Damnit...

#out of the darkness #oc: kara bristow #my dragon age fic #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age: inquisition

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shadowphoenixrider · 7 years ago

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The Heart of the Matter

(This fic suddenly occurred to me when I wondered exactly what would happen if Varian sussed out that Khadgar was having a relationship with Draggka before he was ready to let others know. This fic is the result of them talking. This takes place much later on in Draggka/Khadgar’s timeline, and Varian is still alive because their timeline runs parallel with @galleywinter’s A Prayer You Can Borrow universe. Hope you enjoy!)

(Oh, and before I forgot, here are my other regulars: @sigurdjarlson, @highpriestessbriyanna, @fer8girl, and @elfgirl931)

“Khadgar.” Varian’s deep voice thrummed through the room. “We need to talk.”

The archmage schooled his emotions and expression, holding in his sigh. The General of the Alliance forces and once King did not enter topics lightly, and this was going to be a serious one, if his tone was any indication.

“Of course.” He turned to face the taller man, a small smile on his face. “What about?”

“About the Huntmaster of the Unseen Path. Draggka.” Varian said, striding over to him. “And your relationship with her.”

Khadgar sighed, silently cursing the other man’s proficiency for cutting to the heart of the matter. That and it felt far too soon for this conversation.

“Of course you do. I knew it was only a matter of time before someone found out and...confronted me about it,” he said, straightening his back.

“‘Before someone found out’?” Varian frowned. “How long have you been sneaking around behind our backs, Khadgar?”

“You make it sound like I was deliberately conspiring against the Alliance.” Khadgar shot back, taking umbrage at the former King’s tone. “Whilst I did conceal my partnership with Draggka, I did not do it out of malice, but protection.” The mage closed his eyes, calming himself. “Our courtship hasn’t been long. We fell in love during our time together on the alternate Draenor, during the campaign against the Iron Horde and Gul’dan.”

Varian’s eyes flicked from side to side, deftly putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

“When?” He asked.

“If you’re asking when our feelings began, I’m not sure.” Khadgar watched Varian carefully. “But it was before the assault on Hellfire Citadel when we finally acknowledged our feelings towards one another.”

“The Horde taking the Citadel was deliberate.” Varian said. “Camdyn informed me that you told her to lead the Alliance forces to attack the outer camps, and then she found out that it was a ploy so the Horde could invade the Citadel on their own.” There was a flash of anger and something much more fierce in Varian’s eyes. “Was that why? Because of her?”

Khadgar bristled.

“I admit, I have made some very irresponsible decisions in my time, but do not suggest I let the Horde take Hellfire Citadel solely out of blind love for Draggka, or that she even coerced me into doing so.” He replied with equal, frosty danger, offence burning down his arms. “In fact, I will set the record straight right now. Not once, not ever, has Draggka asked, suggested or would even have a notion that I would betray the Alliance. Nor have I ever given her information that could threaten the Alliance. Regardless of the fact that it’s decades out of date, anyway. You know me better than that, Varian.”

To his credit, the General seemed slightly chastened by this, but his expression was still serious.

“Sorry, Khadgar. But you must admit what it looks like from an outsider. It looks like a clear case of favouritism by someone madly in love with another.”

“I know.” The mage nodded. “I know. I regret pulling the wool over Camdyn’s eyes. I merely feared that if I told the truth, it would only cause more arguing and stalling, and our chance to strike would have vanished beneath the political posturing. However, the fault still rests on my shoulders, and I will not make that mistake again.”

“Then why did you choose the Horde?” Varian asked, his tone still sharp, but calmer than before, less accusatory.

“Two reasons.” Khadgar replied. “First was their friendship with the Draenor orcs. Even though the draenei had lived on Draenor a while, it was, is, the home of the orcs. Their birth place. I figured that their knowledge of the land, and maybe of the Citadel, could work in our favour.” He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “In the end, I don’t think it made much difference.”

“And the second?”

“The legendary ring that Draggka possessed. Forged from my magic, the artifacts she’d collected, and blessed by the elements of Draenor, I believed it made her powerful enough to fight Gul’dan , and whatever horrors he had within that place.” Khadgar’s blue eyes sparkled. “And before you ask, I chose Draggka as the person to forge the ring because...” He paused a moment, frowning slightly. “Because...Because I thought she would need a little boost.”

Varian raised an eyebrow.

“A boost? Khadgar, are we talking about the same troll, here? The same hunter who helped take down Deathwing? Malygos? Garrosh?” His brows drew together in bemused befuddlement. “I know she is a hunter, but surely-”

“Actually, that was the exact reason.”

The younger man blinked.

“You gave her the ring because she was a hunter?”

“...Kind of.” Khadgar shifted uncomfortably, his own silver eyebrows knotting together. “Listen, Varian. I was...afraid. As you know, we were mostly alone on Draenor, without much backup. The last thing I wanted was to lose such capable champions, especially when I was throwing them into battles most couldn’t survive. Or, at least, I wanted to make sure they were well-equipped for the dangers ahead.”

The archmage paced away, staring at the wall. “Think about it, Varian. The two commanders we had on Draenor. A huntress and a paladin. Regardless of the skill and accomplishments of the hunter, you naturally assume the paladin is the most powerful, solely because of their ability to use the Light. That’s not to say hunters don’t have their own powers to draw from; I have seen Draggka use rudimentary nature and arcane magic. But it’s not to the same extent.”

He turned back to the General. “So I decided to give her the chance of forging a ring of legendary power. It was merely to bring her to a similar level as Camdyn. But I’d made two errors in my calculations. First, I underestimated how powerful the ring would grow to become. And second...”

“You didn’t realize Draggka’s skill.” Varian murmured. A smile flickered over Khadgar’s lips.

“No, I didn’t. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I’d heard all the stories, the same ones you and everyone else have. I’d every reason to believe them.” he chuckled, shaking his head. “No. It was only when I saw her on the battlefield, when I saw her victories and successes with my own eyes, that I realized I’d criminally underestimated her.”

A brief silence settled over the two men. Khadgar waited for Varian to speak first, watching the gears turning in the other man’s eyes. He would be going through everything the mage had said, picking it apart and running it against everything he knew; if Khadgar had told any lies, it would be exposed in quick measure.

“You’ve been seeing her since Draenor?” Varian finally asked.

“Yes.” Khadgar nodded. “I held her as she mourned Vol’jin. We have found time for each other where we can.” He looked past the younger man, into the middle distance, “When I heard of the attack on the Forsaken fleet heading to Stormheim...”

“You thought Genn had killed her.” Varian finished. “You’re deeply in love with her.”

“I am.” Khadgar’s gaze shifted back to him. “And before you ask, I am sure she feels the same. I am certain.”

“Khadgar,” the former king began, but Khadgar prickled again. He could sense it, he knew what was coming next-

“I know she is my first love, and we haven’t been courting for long, but I am not blind, Varian.” His tone was low, but as sharp as a blade fresh from the forge. “She does not seek my power; she is a hunter and has no need for it, she does not seek my position; she has and will never have any standing within the Kirin Tor or the Alliance, and certainly seeks no malice against me.” He tightened his grip around Atiesh. “I have laid with her, bared myself to her, been as helpless as a man could be with another. And I woke the next morning alive with her curled against me, unharmed, unfearing, and happier than I had been in years.”

“I know she is a troll. I know she is Horde. But the way she looks at me, Varian, she...” He swallowed hard, willing his voice not to waver. “She...doesn’t care about the curse. She doesn’t care about my power, and she only worries about my position in how much trouble I will get into if I’m caught with her. She cares about me. Karazhan showed her a vision when I had my youth, and it, she...”

Another swallow, and his voice shook, despite his best efforts to control it. “I thought she would reject me, o-once she had seen what I’d been, w-what she could have had...Instead, she just said t-that all it changed for her was that, that I was h-handsome before a-and after the c-curse.” Khadgar squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself for weeping like a child. “Light, Varian, I, I never...”

The sound of heavy feet across the floorboards, Varian’s hand coming to rest gently (yet tentatively) on his shoulder, and Khadgar shuddered. Am I so weak to cry so easily? the mage lamented silently to himself.

“I understand, Khadgar.” Varian’s deep voice sounded in his ear. “I do. Maybe not fully, but I know of the deep, all-consuming love you feel, despite the need of a clear mind for the greater good. It’s clear you adore her.” He sighed, softly. “You are a good friend to me, Khadgar. I only want you to be safe. You have given much to protect Azeroth. I would not want to see your heart broken.”

“I, I know.” The archmage gulped, sniffing. “I know. But...you, the others, don’t, don’t see Draggka as I do. They see her skin or her banner first, then leap to conclusions. I-If they got to know her, as I do...They’d understand. I, I think.”

“Then tell me.” Varian suddenly said. “Tell me why you love her.”

Khadgar blinked.

“Tell you?” He asked, stupidly.

“Why not?” Varian looked back at Khadgar, eyes kind and slightly amused. “You’ve already told me some of the reasons. Tell me how you fell for her. There must be a tale there you could use to try and convince me.”

It took the wizard a couple of seconds to regain an ability for coherent speech.

“Oh, um, okay then. You, might want to sit down, then.” He waved to the pair of chairs by the fireplace. “It, ah, might take a while.”

So the two men sat, and Khadgar proceeded to explain to his friend the almost entire story. First, how he’d come to know the hunter’s name, and ask for her assistance assaulting the Dark Portal, their race through Tanaan Jungle, and the event that may have been the start of it all.

“I remember it still so clearly,” Khadgar said, gesturing, “we were in the middle of a melee, after I had breached the dam, and we - Draggka and I - ended up facing one another. I remember her yelling something I didn’t understand - it must have been Zandali - and then she pulled an arrow on me. I froze, not knowing what on Azeroth was going on, but knowing how Alleria used to be, I figured it was best to just stay still and let her do her thing.”

“Did you not think she was going to kill you?” Varian frowned. “No-one is paying attention in close combat.”

“I confess, it crossed my mind.” Khadgar nodded. “But I couldn’t believe it, even if what you say is true. It just wasn’t in the character of the hunter I’d seen in the reports I’d read. Plus, she had no reason to do it. Anyway, she loosed her arrow, and either I must have instinctively warped time, or the world actually slowed down as her arrow flew at me. It passed just across my cheek, like that, so close I swear I felt the fletching, but she didn’t mark me. Then I heard this gurgle behind me, and I turned just in time to see my attacker fall. It must have been seconds, but it felt like minutes.”

“Impressive marksmanship.” The General mused. “Especially at such close range, and in such a fight.”

“Yes. it almost put my magic to shame!” Khadgar chuckled, and heat rose into his face. “I must have been the spitting image of Turalyon when he first caught sight of Alleria, all those years ago.” He rubbed the back of his neck, fingers slipping under his collar. “Mercifully, no-one noticed. Or no-one mentioned it afterwards. I’m sure Maraad would have said something to me if he’d known.”

“Of course.” The mage was sure he could see a smirk playing on Varian’s lips. “Go on.”

Khadgar moved into the establishment of Frostwall, and how Draggka had aided him in trying to catch Gul’dan and helping forge the ring of power along the way. How each time she was injured or almost killed, his heart had thumped a little more painfully each time. The times he’d goaded her into conversation, his less than stellar excuses for visiting Frostwall, his suspicion that her raptor Spike had been matchmaking them.

“Her raptor was trying to get you together.” The disbelief in the former king’s voice was palpable, even before his thick eyebrow arched.

“I think so?” Khadgar shrugged dramatically. “Even now he still shoves me into her, and vice versa. Not to mention he’s frighteningly intelligent. If only he could talk. O-Or maybe not, actually. He has an...attitude.” The archmage narrowed his eyes at his friend’s faint smirk. “Hey, don’t laugh at me! It’s true!”

“I’m sure it is.” Varian’s blue eyes were laughing as he waved his hand. “Carry on.”

Khadgar told him about how they had began tentatively exploring their feelings for each other before he’d cut it off in a foolishly blind panic after Cordana’s corruption.

“Before you say it, I know it was stupid.”The mage pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve already taken myself to task many times over because of it.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.” Varian spoke. “I understand what you were trying to do, and I don’t blame you.” Khadgar blinked dumbly at him. “You were trying to protect her. You and I both know of the sacrifices that must be made to protect our loved ones, our worlds. Sometimes you need to make hard decisions to allow yourself to do that.”

Khadgar wasn’t sure how to take this.

“So...you think I did the right thing, breaking up with her then?”

“Perhaps. But not in the manner you did.” The younger man folded his arms, his eyes hard as ice. “You should have told her in full why you were doing it, and certainly not in the manner you did.” His eyes softened, as did his voice. “But that’s not what you did. What happened next?”

Khadgar explained the emptiness he’d felt after he’d cut ties with Draggka, and the loneliness he’d not felt since the Sundering of Draenor, or the hunter’s brother all but beating him to his senses, sending the mage flying off to find Draggka, and apologise. And accidentally confess his love for her.

“I’d have preferred to have made the admission under a starry sky with a bottle of Dalaran red between us, but fate and my foolishness had other plans, it seems.” Khadgar chuckled weakly.

“Fate does have a way of steering us.” Varian said, and it was then that the archmage saw the sadness in the old king’s eyes.

“Light, Varian, I’m sorry,” he said, guilt crawling down his back. “I don’t mean to dredge up memories of Tiffin-”

“It’s alright, Khadgar.” Varian raised a hand to cut off his apology. “Don’t stop telling your story on my account.” His eyes twinkled. “Was it Lothar that said it was a crime to leave a tale half-told?”

The young-old mage chuckled softly.

“Is that what he told you?” He murmured wistfully. “Alright.”

Khadgar then explained about the plan he’d concocted to take Hellfire Citadel, explaining in detail why he’d designed it as he had, and letting Varian ask questions and generally pull it apart, again admitting that his deception was a large error and wouldn’t be repeated a second time. He couldn’t read Varian fully, but the General seemed at least...content with the explanation that had been offered to him.

The archmage did mention that he and Draggka had spent the night together in celebration, though he of course kept the details to himself, yet he did admit that he’d delayed returning to Azeroth so he could spend more time with the troll. Privately, he wondered if that had given Gul’dan the time needed for a headstart, but he pushed the thought away; there was no use agonising over it now.

Khadgar skipped his chasing of Gul’dan, going straight to the Broken Shore and he worried for Draggka’s welfare, that he’d snuck away to find her in Durotar, holding her as she grieved for Vol’jin. Varian knew much of the story now, so the mage was brief, though he elaborated about how Karazhan had showed her a vision of his past.

“Seems too much of a coincidence to me.” The younger man spoke. “That it’d show a vision involving you with you both there to witness it.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I know that tower is erratic from what you’ve said, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was actually alive.”

“I’ve...wondered that myself, actually.” Khadgar admitted, glancing down at his hands a moment. “But we could have easily just disturbed it in a certain way. It’s always shown visions of those within. Those who live.” He corrected.

Varian’s expression suggested he wasn’t exactly convinced by this, but he nodded for the wizard to continue. He was promptly told of Khadgar’s second mistake in sending Draggka ahead from Karazhan (Varian gave him a stare the mage couldn’t entirely read; did he agree with his choice?), and the argument they’d gotten into afterwards.

From there, Khadgar was brief, talking of Draggka finding Alleria’s bow, and of the times they’d stolen for each other in the midst of the Legion’s invasion, all the way up to now.

“So, that’s the whole story.” Khadgar sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I’ve never told all of that to anyone else. You’re only the third person to know all of this, aside from Draggka and her brother. As you can imagine, I’d like to keep it that way. Until...Until it’s all over and everything’s calmed down a bit, anyway.”

Varian nodded.

“That seems a good idea. But be careful your love for her doesn’t cloud your judgement.” He warned. “You were lucky you slipped up in front of me, and not Genn. Your anger was understandable and justified, but he would not have taken kindly to your admission.”

“No.” Khadgar sighed. “It would have caused even more problems.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just...losing her would destroy me. I know it. But to lose her in an ambush by the Alliance, and not in a fight against the Legion...”

“I understand.” Varian nodded. “I have already spoken with Genn to remind him to control himself, and settle his quarrel with Sylvanas alone. And not with the rest of the Horde.”

“Thank you, Varian.” The archmage breathed out a sigh. “The last thing we need is infighting. The Legion is already good at deception, without giving them opportunities like this.”

“Agreed. For the Horde’s part, they don’t seem to be inciting much anger since the Broken Shore. With any luck, we can hold a fine truce, at least until the Legion falls. Then they will have to answer for their retreat.”

“I know.” Khadgar closed his eyes, sighing again. “I know. Just...I pray we don’t end up in another war. I don’t...” He puffed out a breath. “I can’t raise my hand against the champions who’ve aided me, whatever banner they are under. From the alternate Draenor to here...To turn on half of them just because they wear a different colour to me would be a betrayal of everything I’ve fought for. I’ve fought for Azeroth, Varian. All of its people, not just my own. I want a new beginning for us, after the Legion’s defeat. A chance for some peace, to heal our wounds.”

He opened his eyes again, staring at his hands. “That’s before I even take Draggka into account. I could never harm her, and I severely doubt she could me. The lines are blurred for me now, Varian, and I will not choose a side. Medivh once told me that when given a chance between two, choose the third. I choose neither Alliance, nor Horde, but Azeroth.” A slight, weak smile. “That’s probably not what you want to hear, but...”

“No, but it is an honest assessment.” Varian said. “I appreciate it, and I‘m not surprised you feel that way.” He considered the mage a moment, closing his eyes. “I will do everything in my power to ensure such a trial does not result in a war. Genn may be baying for blood, but we’ve already lost much, as have they, and no-one will be in any position for more bloodshed.”

Khadgar nodded slowly, letting a pause settle between them.

“Thank you, Varian.” He stretched his legs out with a soft grunt. “Anyway, I’ve taken enough of your time. Did I manage to enlighten you about our relationship?”

The General’s eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement.

“I would think so.” Varian smiled, getting to his feet. “Trust you to fall in love with a member of the Horde, and a troll at that.”

“I can hardly police my heart, Varian.” Khadgar commented, a grin playing on his lips. “As can anyone.”

The younger man seemed to hesitate at that, as if considering something.

“No. I don’t think we can,” he said, his voice much softer, almost...wistful? In seconds it was gone, however. “In any case, Khadgar, I’m glad for you.”

“You are?” The mage blinked, his eyebrows raising in surprise.

“Yes. Even though it doubtlessly will give you problems to overcome in future, like we already mentioned, I think what you have with Draggka sounds good.” Varian’s gaze met Khadgar’s. “You deserve it.”

A brief silence settled between the two men.

“...Thank you, Varian.” Khadgar spoke, after a moment. “I’m...I’m glad you think so.”

“I will need to meet her for myself to know exactly what I think of her, however.” The General said, his blue eyes holding a laughing smile, even if his face was serious. “I’ve only ever seen her at a distance, with only her reputation to guide me. You must introduce us sometime.”

“Introduce you?!” Khadgar squawked. “How could I do that? She’d think I was lining her up for an execution!”

Varian chuckled at his friend’s panic.

“It was only a suggestion, Khadgar.” He smiled, waving a placating hand. “But I would like to talk to her. I’d like to know more about the woman who has-”

“Don’t say it.”

“Who has-”

“Don’t.”

“Who has my friend so enthralled with her.” Varian’s amused smile widened into a grin, especially as Khadgar sighed with relief, yet he quickly returned to his seriousness. “I want to make sure you don’t get hurt, Khadgar. You deserve someone close in your life after what happened with Medivh, Lothar and Turalyon and Alleria.” He paused a moment, gaze turning inward for a split second. “No-one deserves to be lonely all their life.”

The mage breathed a half-chuckle.

“Sounds like something Anduin would say.”

“That would be because it is.” Varian smiled, patting his friend’s shoulder. “Anyway, I’m sure you could arrange such a meeting, if you wanted to. You organised Hellfire Citadel, after all.”

Khadgar sighed.

“Look, Varian, I’m not going to do anything like that again, I swear-”

“I know.” He grinned. “But I also know what you’re like. Always getting into trouble, trapping yourself on the wrong side of portals. Not staying away from the voodoo-”

“Light damn you, get out!” Khadgar cried, the larger man bursting into laughter. “If I had a gold piece for every time I heard that, I’d be a rich man!”

“Well, you can hardly blame us!” The younger man grinned. He gently patted the mage’s shoulder when his sour face didn’t change. “But I mean it, Khadgar. I’d like to talk with her myself. I would prefer it alone, but I think having you with her would calm everyone’s nerves.”

“Alright.” Khadgar nodded. “I appreciate your concern, even if I don’t think she warrants it. I trust her.”

“As you trusted Cordana before she turned on you.” Varian raised a hand as the mage prickled. “Not to say Draggka will do the same. But this is hardly the time to be taking unnecessary risks. At least allow me to settle my mind on this.”

“Fine.” Khadgar huffed reluctantly. “Is this what Anduin puts up with if he shows interest in another?”

“I would be much worse.” The General replied, puffing out a sigh. “Light save me, let people worry about you, Khadgar. We care about you. You take too much on your shoulders as it is.”

“Rich coming from you, Varian.”

“Yes, well. It takes one to know one.” He gave Khadgar a half-smile. “Anyway, I’ve taken enough of your time. No doubt the Huntmaster will be looking for you, along with many others.” His eyes gleamed with mirth.

“I suppose I’ve got to get back to the minutiae of running a floating city of magic at some point.” Khadgar spoke, before he raised an raised an eyebrow at his friend. “And I suppose the Highlord will be looking for you too? You seem to collaborate quite often.”

Varian did not blush, but the archmage caught a slight blink of shyness behind his friend’s eyes.

“The business I have with Camdyn is much more innocent than your business with Draggka.” He replied. “It just so happens that the Silver Hand has been just the force I’ve required for a while.”

“I see. Alright then.” Khadgar nodded. He didn’t believe that to be the whole story, not by a long shot, and he was sure it was written across his face. But he didn’t probe further, despite the tease on the tip of his lips, and the curiosity stirring within him. There’d be time to get Varian back for his awful joke and teasing back in the future. “Then I wish you good hunting, and I will let you know of further...arrangements.”

“Understood.” Varian bowed his head. “Take care of yourself, Khadgar.”

“You too, Varian.” The mage replied.

Khadgar watched the once-king leave, and gave a grand groan when the door closed. What on Azeroth had he gotten himself into, and how was he going to explain this to Draggka?

#khadgar #varian wrynn #world of warcraft #legion au #khadgar/oc #SPRs writing #relationship discussions #there's another ship in there if you squint #dialogue heavy #my god I got these two talking and they wouldn't shut up!#I consider this a partial gift for galleywinter?#anything I write with varian is a gift for her honestly! XD

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